Fuckin' what the motherfucking fuck fuckin' fuck fuck?
......I'm not really sure that question, if it even is a question, is relevent or has any sort of meaning, but I just felt like a slew of obscenity was necessary.
I think I'm in love with Jesse Eisenberg. Upside: We'd probably have a lot in common and be at least good friends. Downside: His celebrity status, and the fact that he lives in New York City makes it really fucking difficult to even have hope for even a "celebrity sighting" to happen.
I'm watching the Education of Charlie Banks and it's really good. Never before have I seen Jason Ritter as someone who could be intimidating, but his character and the way he carries him is really effing scary. I hope he doesn't end up beating the shit out of Jesse's character. That would make me sad. The genre of the movie is drama, however, and I feel it might be inevitable. He's already stolen the girl from Charlie.
I'm not entirely sure why I feel crappy right now. I had a great night last night catching up with an old friend. I guess it ended up bringing back memories of how things used to be and now I miss Quincy way more than I already did.
It might also be a feeling of a rift starting again between me and someone very important to me. I'd like to feel free to text him as often as I do some of my other friends, but this case is special and I feel like if I do that, I will be suffocating him. He never talks to me and I don't know if he feels the same way I do and we're both letting fear get the better of us...In some way, I hope that's the case, because if it's frustrating him as much as it's frustrating me, then one of us will break soon and things could get better. Or they could be broken forever.
Or if neither of us breaks and talks, then will we both just sit on the sidelines and let it all fall away again? I'd like to think I would not let that happen again, but I cannot say the same for what he'd do. That singular question is what keeps me up every night: What would he do? What will he do? Does he think about it like I do?
I need to stop worrying about other people's thoughts and whether I cross them. I need to just trust that I do, though, that's difficult when I don't have any proof. Then again, I don't text or call anyone right as they cross my mind or every time they do. If I did, I would be a very suffocating person and they would not want me to have them cross my mind.
Insecurities: BE GONE!
(If only it were that easy.)
Sum 41's new single sounds great. It's like a mix between the Does This Look Infected? and Chuck eras. Chuck is my favorite Sum album. I'm listening to it now, as I cannot watch a movie and type at the same time. (Netflix is awesome, though makes multi-tasking on the computer difficult.)
