Refresh

It has been over a year and a half since I have posted anything on this blog. The last post was at a turning point in my life. I was going through change, slowly settling back into living at home and not going back to school and losing friends and gaining friends, as well as an ever-changing relationship taking over my mind.

Then I met someone else. Someone who lives close to me, who has so many of the same interests, but is different enough that we don't get bored. He inspires me and angers me and makes me happy and gets me so frustrated and keeps me smiling. All of these things is what makes me glad that one night I chose not to be a coward and a shut in.

Anyway, though I have found a love I'd like to keep, I still have been having issues revolving around settling and becoming a more grown up me. I am looking for my own place, which is not easy. When I'm not working or catching up on all the television shows I watch, I'm thinking about how different my life is than what I pictured it'd be. I accomplished quite a bit when I was in school, but for what? I work in a retail setting, printing copies and faxing and producing posters and other print-like stuff. I'd feel better about the job if we were allowed to do the creation part, but my company is backwards and claims to be technologically forward, when we are stuck about 5 years in the past. (We've only just begun to upgrade to Windows 7 and yet people can print documents straight from Google Drive.) I was meant to let out my creativity, to create, to act, to write and read and express myself. My job is a place that corrupts my creativity, suppresses it, even. I love the people I work with, though, that is my dilemma. Making money isn't a bad thing, either.

So here I sit, in a recliner, bored, and at a loss as to where to go with my next project. I decided a couple weeks ago to try my hand at writing a novel in a month...aka participating in NaNoWriMo. Well, November is NaNoWriMo and I'm stuck with my idea. I have no idea where to go with it, or how to put it all together and I'm chickening out. I thought maybe writing a blog about writing might help be stay motivated and courageous in the next few weeks to come, and if I don't finish in a month, then it'll keep me motivated as I try to finish the novel I start.

This is just my introductory post to say that the subject of the blog posts of the future will be different. Or they might just be me bitching about my life and how unsettled I am and restless it makes me. Who knows, but I'll try to keep it about writing. 

But for now, I leave you.