questions.

It's nights like the last two, when my insomnia gets the better of me and I'm left to sit awake and wonder:

Do you think about me as much as I think about you?

Do you miss me like I miss you?

If your answers are yes, why don't you just tell me how you feel?

What are you so afraid of? Can I help?

I'm afraid, too. I thought that much has been obvious. 

...Scared that if I tell you how I feel, you'll run. I lost you once, I found out I can survive without you and your friendship, but then you came back and now I'm not sure I could do it again. 

...If I ran or forced myself to move on (like last time) would you chase? Would you do everything in your power to get me back? 

I don't know the answers to these questions and that's what bothers me. Though they may seem like a way of rushing things, I'm not asking for much, really.

Think about it...

Friends let each other know when one is missed.

Friends tell each other how they feel about just about anything.

Friends tell each other when they cross the other's mind.

True friends to everything in their power not to lose what they have.

...I'm not asking to rush to any decisions about "us" or whatever, just to have my friend back. Like how it used to be, only even better. 

Anything deeper than that can wait, I just want a more consistent friendship. Don't be afraid to talk to me.

...Most important question: Why don't you talk to me when I'm not in town? Why do you only respond to a select few things I send you?

...Makes me feel rejected and forgotten. You mean a lot to me, and if I mean nothing I need to know so I can attempt to salvage what's left of me and move on.